Sunday, July 23, 2006
Would I be better off on the dole?
I just extended my house. Well I say just, It's taken from the forst week of February until this week, about 8 weeks over the planned project time scale, but hey it's finished.
A couple of tuips for anyone about to embark ona similar project. First get a builder you can trust to project manage the whle jpb for you to a fixed price. that way any financial headaches are his not yours! Second, once you agree the price keep a couple of grand back in reserve until satisfactory competion of the job. Builders are always busy, and are usually turning down jobs because they are in demand. this means as they near completion on your job, it's tempting to move on to the next one and forget about the little snagging jobs that need doing. My builder, Ricky, has been brilliant in this respect, but had he proven awkward to get in to finish off, I had a £2000 lever to use to get him back.
Anyhow, It has cost me roughly speaking, £7000 each for five rooms to be added, okay three bedrooms, a hallway and a garage workshop, but the added value to my house must come to around £60000 for a £32000 layout. My little 3 bed hosue is now 6 Bed. I foresaw the extension potential when I bought, so I didn't mind the £11000 negative equity I lost on my old flat when I moved. I now have a £120K mortgage on a property that must be valuing at around £250K.
The beuaty of it is, I could still extend on all four sides! I still have a garden large enough that mowing the grass takes a couple of hours.
So am I bragging or what? Well, no, I earn a reasonable salary, but have a wife who in traditional manner stays at home to raise the children. My mortgage is manageable with care, my car is 12 years old, and I sometimes have to buy Smartprice instead of ASDA brand or better just to make ends meet. I can't help noticing at work that the Stealla drinking, Benson and Hedges smoking Vectra driving holidaying in Spain jetski ownijng unemplyed are having a better tiem of it. Would I be better of on the dole?
A couple of tuips for anyone about to embark ona similar project. First get a builder you can trust to project manage the whle jpb for you to a fixed price. that way any financial headaches are his not yours! Second, once you agree the price keep a couple of grand back in reserve until satisfactory competion of the job. Builders are always busy, and are usually turning down jobs because they are in demand. this means as they near completion on your job, it's tempting to move on to the next one and forget about the little snagging jobs that need doing. My builder, Ricky, has been brilliant in this respect, but had he proven awkward to get in to finish off, I had a £2000 lever to use to get him back.
Anyhow, It has cost me roughly speaking, £7000 each for five rooms to be added, okay three bedrooms, a hallway and a garage workshop, but the added value to my house must come to around £60000 for a £32000 layout. My little 3 bed hosue is now 6 Bed. I foresaw the extension potential when I bought, so I didn't mind the £11000 negative equity I lost on my old flat when I moved. I now have a £120K mortgage on a property that must be valuing at around £250K.
The beuaty of it is, I could still extend on all four sides! I still have a garden large enough that mowing the grass takes a couple of hours.
So am I bragging or what? Well, no, I earn a reasonable salary, but have a wife who in traditional manner stays at home to raise the children. My mortgage is manageable with care, my car is 12 years old, and I sometimes have to buy Smartprice instead of ASDA brand or better just to make ends meet. I can't help noticing at work that the Stealla drinking, Benson and Hedges smoking Vectra driving holidaying in Spain jetski ownijng unemplyed are having a better tiem of it. Would I be better of on the dole?
Saturday, July 15, 2006
What is this blog thing anyway?
Parking
Right, time for another of my rants.
This time it's parking. Why is parking such a problem for some people? I have owned a series of fairly large cars, Volvos, big Vaukhalls, a huge American Chrysler (16 foot from end to end) and now a Jeep. But I've always been able to find a parking place and place the car in it. So why do people who drives small cars like Fiestas have such difficulty parallel parking and leave one end stuck out in the road at an angle? And why do they take up two places, leaving exactly half a space in front and behind them? It irritates me somewhat.
My wife of course can never find a space in the first place. She always complains there is nowhere to park. Yet if I am driving to the same location and the same day of the week I will sail into a space right on the doorstep of where Ii want to be. Do I hace some mystical talent to locate these spaces?
The other thing that annoys me about parking is the Parent and child places at Supermarkets. These used to be mother and baby spaces, until someone must surely have complained as a single father and got the notices altered, and rightly so. I have a problem with the whole concept however. I have seen "parents" with their adult children parking in these spaces. Are they technically doing anything wrong? They are parents and they are with their children. I just don't see the need for these spaces at all. The arguement goes something like "I have to carry my child if I park elsewhere plus my shopping, and it just can't be done." Actually, you don't. The supermarket provides trolleys for everyone, so you can carry your offspring in the trolley and push it along like the rest of us.
Disabled parking is a different issue. I agree they should be allowed to park nearer the doors, as they use wheel chairs, walking sticks etc, and it can be painful and difficult for them to do so over a distance. Except of course that the disabled bays are taken up by "disabled" people who are simply fat and lazy through their own fault, and ooze their path to the supermarklet to buy more Stella Artois, frozen burgers and Pizzas whilst chain smoking and wheezing on their asthma pumps, whilst the genuine disabled who have far more pride and determination limp from the bays at the other end of the shop.
The whole issue of these special bays is that they are wider to provide easier access for those with disabilites, childrens seats and pushchairs etc. But as a parent I find it easier to park at the far end of the car park which is completely empty and has completely unhindered access to your car. The added bonus is that with no one else parking there the chances of some careless git denting your door with theirs is greatly reduced. Plus you can readily find your car because it stands out on it's own, it's not just another amorphous blob in a sea of silver repmobiles.
Oh yeah and the walk pushing the trolley does you good too, it's healthy exercise.
Which brings me to another point. Next time you are at the supermarket do a bit of people watching. Those who park nearest the doors to the supermarket always seem to be the people wearing sportswear, with a healthy tan and sunny yet somewhat arrogant disposition. They might give the impression of being really fit, but look at the facts. Is that a muscle toned chest or just fat under that England shirt? Is the seat of the tracksuit just that little bit polished and shiny from sitting on a sofa too long? Is that tan just a little streaky? The smile jsut that little bit glo-white and false? These are lazy people who take short cuts in evry aspect of their lives. They're not parking close to save time to go to the gym I'll betcha. If they were such good guys and fitness freaks they'd be offering to carry the disabled guys heavy shopping for him, not stealing the handicapped parking bay.
The solution of course, in the interest of equality for all is to make all the bays the same size as the disabled/parent bays. Okay we'd only have 220 spaces instead of 300, but we could park easily and safely. And the 300 advertised spaces are never filled anyway, except maybe at 7 p.m. on Christmas Eve.
At least at the supermarket parking is free. Except at seaside resorts where it's only free if you produce your reciept. The biggest rip off in history has to be parking fees and parking fines. I already paid Road Tax to use the roads but I have to pay again to park on them when I'm not using them? Or I have to pay to park on some bombsite still left untarmacced and cratered since world war II, "at my own risk!" If I'm paying £25 a day to park I want an armed guard assigned to each row, and I want to see the heads of the people who break into my car displayed on spikes around the perimeter fence. For £25 a day I want valet parking provided for the Fiesta drivers so they don't take up half of my bay.
On street parking is just as bad a rip off. The current rate in Hull is about £1 and hour, minium payment of 50 pence for 20 minutes. It used to be on meters, which was fine if you needed just a few minutes, as you occasionally do, because you might be lucky and find a meter with some time left on it. Free parking? No, not really because someone had already paid for it. Now it's on a ticket machine "Pay and Display." So you pay excessively in the firts place, and any unused time you've paid for when you leave has to be paid for again by the next person to arrive. Can I pas on my ticket to him, if say I have an hour left to run? No, that is an offence. So wait a minute, we both pay for the same space to use it at the same time, right? That's sort of like the water board charging me for water, then when I have a piss charging someone else for that and telling them it's water. They are getting a second hand space, it should be free or very cheap as I already bought it once. What's going on?
Anyhow, here's a tip if you have a high value load and need to park in the city centre. Instead of risky on street parking, or even risky bombsite without armed guards and fuzzy CCTV, park directly outside the police station on the double yellow lines. Your car will be monitiored by CCTV and have regular police patrols pasing it and paying it special attention, particulary if you leave a few loose coloured wires sticking out of an old suitcase on the back seat. You will get a fixed penalty ticket of £30, but that's only a fiver more than above mentioned bombsite car park and mcuh better value I beleive. Oh yeah and you get 28 days interest free credit on your payment.
Till next time, park carefully.
This time it's parking. Why is parking such a problem for some people? I have owned a series of fairly large cars, Volvos, big Vaukhalls, a huge American Chrysler (16 foot from end to end) and now a Jeep. But I've always been able to find a parking place and place the car in it. So why do people who drives small cars like Fiestas have such difficulty parallel parking and leave one end stuck out in the road at an angle? And why do they take up two places, leaving exactly half a space in front and behind them? It irritates me somewhat.
My wife of course can never find a space in the first place. She always complains there is nowhere to park. Yet if I am driving to the same location and the same day of the week I will sail into a space right on the doorstep of where Ii want to be. Do I hace some mystical talent to locate these spaces?
The other thing that annoys me about parking is the Parent and child places at Supermarkets. These used to be mother and baby spaces, until someone must surely have complained as a single father and got the notices altered, and rightly so. I have a problem with the whole concept however. I have seen "parents" with their adult children parking in these spaces. Are they technically doing anything wrong? They are parents and they are with their children. I just don't see the need for these spaces at all. The arguement goes something like "I have to carry my child if I park elsewhere plus my shopping, and it just can't be done." Actually, you don't. The supermarket provides trolleys for everyone, so you can carry your offspring in the trolley and push it along like the rest of us.
Disabled parking is a different issue. I agree they should be allowed to park nearer the doors, as they use wheel chairs, walking sticks etc, and it can be painful and difficult for them to do so over a distance. Except of course that the disabled bays are taken up by "disabled" people who are simply fat and lazy through their own fault, and ooze their path to the supermarklet to buy more Stella Artois, frozen burgers and Pizzas whilst chain smoking and wheezing on their asthma pumps, whilst the genuine disabled who have far more pride and determination limp from the bays at the other end of the shop.
The whole issue of these special bays is that they are wider to provide easier access for those with disabilites, childrens seats and pushchairs etc. But as a parent I find it easier to park at the far end of the car park which is completely empty and has completely unhindered access to your car. The added bonus is that with no one else parking there the chances of some careless git denting your door with theirs is greatly reduced. Plus you can readily find your car because it stands out on it's own, it's not just another amorphous blob in a sea of silver repmobiles.
Oh yeah and the walk pushing the trolley does you good too, it's healthy exercise.
Which brings me to another point. Next time you are at the supermarket do a bit of people watching. Those who park nearest the doors to the supermarket always seem to be the people wearing sportswear, with a healthy tan and sunny yet somewhat arrogant disposition. They might give the impression of being really fit, but look at the facts. Is that a muscle toned chest or just fat under that England shirt? Is the seat of the tracksuit just that little bit polished and shiny from sitting on a sofa too long? Is that tan just a little streaky? The smile jsut that little bit glo-white and false? These are lazy people who take short cuts in evry aspect of their lives. They're not parking close to save time to go to the gym I'll betcha. If they were such good guys and fitness freaks they'd be offering to carry the disabled guys heavy shopping for him, not stealing the handicapped parking bay.
The solution of course, in the interest of equality for all is to make all the bays the same size as the disabled/parent bays. Okay we'd only have 220 spaces instead of 300, but we could park easily and safely. And the 300 advertised spaces are never filled anyway, except maybe at 7 p.m. on Christmas Eve.
At least at the supermarket parking is free. Except at seaside resorts where it's only free if you produce your reciept. The biggest rip off in history has to be parking fees and parking fines. I already paid Road Tax to use the roads but I have to pay again to park on them when I'm not using them? Or I have to pay to park on some bombsite still left untarmacced and cratered since world war II, "at my own risk!" If I'm paying £25 a day to park I want an armed guard assigned to each row, and I want to see the heads of the people who break into my car displayed on spikes around the perimeter fence. For £25 a day I want valet parking provided for the Fiesta drivers so they don't take up half of my bay.
On street parking is just as bad a rip off. The current rate in Hull is about £1 and hour, minium payment of 50 pence for 20 minutes. It used to be on meters, which was fine if you needed just a few minutes, as you occasionally do, because you might be lucky and find a meter with some time left on it. Free parking? No, not really because someone had already paid for it. Now it's on a ticket machine "Pay and Display." So you pay excessively in the firts place, and any unused time you've paid for when you leave has to be paid for again by the next person to arrive. Can I pas on my ticket to him, if say I have an hour left to run? No, that is an offence. So wait a minute, we both pay for the same space to use it at the same time, right? That's sort of like the water board charging me for water, then when I have a piss charging someone else for that and telling them it's water. They are getting a second hand space, it should be free or very cheap as I already bought it once. What's going on?
Anyhow, here's a tip if you have a high value load and need to park in the city centre. Instead of risky on street parking, or even risky bombsite without armed guards and fuzzy CCTV, park directly outside the police station on the double yellow lines. Your car will be monitiored by CCTV and have regular police patrols pasing it and paying it special attention, particulary if you leave a few loose coloured wires sticking out of an old suitcase on the back seat. You will get a fixed penalty ticket of £30, but that's only a fiver more than above mentioned bombsite car park and mcuh better value I beleive. Oh yeah and you get 28 days interest free credit on your payment.
Till next time, park carefully.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Haven't you got anything better to do?
I'm being paid overtime today to go out and ticket speeders as part of an anti speeding campaign. This announcement will probably already have some of you boiling in anger, but wait a minute. Around the county we have a number of fixed speed cameras, and mobile speed vans and motorcycles, all of which will simply check your speed and issue you a ticket at a mere few mph over the posted limit. I can understand your anger if you get caughtm but if you weren't speeding you wouldn't get caught, so you've only yourself to blame. Okay, they are sneaky and hide behind large objects, but that's on their conscience not mine.
I on the other hand wil be dressed in a bright yellow jacket, in open view and next to a fully marked up police car. If you can't see me and take the hint and slow down then what chance has a three year old got crossing the road in front of you. Also becasue I'm not a machine I have discretion. Don't ever argue with me, as that'll only get my back up and you WILL get the ticket, but I'm not a machine and you can reason with me. Who knows you might convince me that you reckelss speeding was reasonable.
Another point I'd like to get over is that because I'm physically stopping you not just sending a ticket through the post I can also smell any alcohol on your breath, check your documents, give your car a quick once over and check the car, or anything in it isn't stolen. I've caught more than a few burglers that way I can tell you! If you are a wanted person I'll arrest you. Finally, because I'm human, I can assess your character and beleive me, I only want to give tickets to those who really deserve them, the criminals who I maybe can't prove are burgling bastards but I can proe they're speeding and give them the points. What do points make? No not prizes, disqualifications. What happens to disqualified drivers? Well if they continue to flout the law and keep driving, which they do, they get caught again and go to jail. Problem solved, burglar in jail!
So if you do happen to be stopped today by a traffic cop for speeding, smile nicely at him, and remember he's just a guy doing a job. Yes he could be out catching burglars rapists and muggers, and maybe he will with the next car he stops. So don't bother asking........"Haven't you got anything better to do?"
I on the other hand wil be dressed in a bright yellow jacket, in open view and next to a fully marked up police car. If you can't see me and take the hint and slow down then what chance has a three year old got crossing the road in front of you. Also becasue I'm not a machine I have discretion. Don't ever argue with me, as that'll only get my back up and you WILL get the ticket, but I'm not a machine and you can reason with me. Who knows you might convince me that you reckelss speeding was reasonable.
Another point I'd like to get over is that because I'm physically stopping you not just sending a ticket through the post I can also smell any alcohol on your breath, check your documents, give your car a quick once over and check the car, or anything in it isn't stolen. I've caught more than a few burglers that way I can tell you! If you are a wanted person I'll arrest you. Finally, because I'm human, I can assess your character and beleive me, I only want to give tickets to those who really deserve them, the criminals who I maybe can't prove are burgling bastards but I can proe they're speeding and give them the points. What do points make? No not prizes, disqualifications. What happens to disqualified drivers? Well if they continue to flout the law and keep driving, which they do, they get caught again and go to jail. Problem solved, burglar in jail!
So if you do happen to be stopped today by a traffic cop for speeding, smile nicely at him, and remember he's just a guy doing a job. Yes he could be out catching burglars rapists and muggers, and maybe he will with the next car he stops. So don't bother asking........"Haven't you got anything better to do?"
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Instruction manuals
So, I hear you asking, what is it about instruction manuals that put you off?
Well I think the language used is one thing. If it's not poorly translated from Portuguse via Taiwanese, Czechoslovakian and Serbo Croatian into pidgeon English then it will amost certainly contain TLA's. What's TLA's? Three letter abbreviations, thats what. Like OSD (on Screen Display) or HSR (High Speed Recording) The publisher will assume you know what all the TLA's mean, but I just end up feeling a TIT (Totally Idiotic Twerp) Then just when you think you're getting to grips with it they'll throw in an FLA (four letter abbreviation) and that's before we get to ACRONYMS. (A Complete Riot Of Nonesense You Might Say) ACRONYMS are great when they mean something or at least make sense, but most are totally irrelevent to the function or gadget in hand. My new boiler apparently came with a RULER. I spent hours looking for a length of plastic with measured marks on before I learned this actually meant End Users Licenced Engineers Report (yes I know, that spells EULER, I still don't know if it was a typo or a deliberate wind up) And since when did you need a licence to run a boiler?
My next issue is that the manual becomes thicker in inverse propertion to the gadget it comes with. An MP3 player for example will have a manual about four times it's weight and size, whilst the lawnmower I got last week, which needed assembling from about 18 pieces came with an A4 page with pictures and heiroglyphics but no words at all. Some of the symbols appeared to show a man having sex with a dog, but I think they meant it was a son of a bitch to put together.
My final problem with the whole manual thing is that I feel I shouldn't need one. It's a matter of male pride I suppose. Men should just know how to work gadgets. It's particularly annoying then when you three year old can take said gadget out of the box and have it up and running whilst you are still reading the bit about it havng a prewired plug with a thirteen amp fuse which if it has to be replaced ......zzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz Sorry nodded off there. Why do they put that bit in anyway? I can see it has a plug on, I don't need the book to tell me.
That's it in a nutshell. Manuals into room 101 as far as I'm concerned. I have them all in a safe place just in case I need them, but do you know what? I never do. Because I have a three year old and I can press random buttons until what I want to happen happens. And if it doesn't something else will happen which will so amaze me that I'll forget about what I wanted to do and use the new feature instead.
Anyhow, seems like I'm getting the hang of this Blogging thing, so more in the near future.
Test Blog
This is just a test to see if this thing works.
See my comments above. I'm just too busy to read the instructions, and wouldn't understand them if I did, so I'm doing it my way like I always do, trial and error. This means of course that everyone else will be able to use this blog thing better and quicker then me, and probably have more functions and the ability to do amazing things with it, whilst I will be using it mainly like I would a diary. Which is perhaps the idea. Who knows?
My plan always works for me anyway, and sooner or later either someone points out the quicker easier way to work stuff I own, or uses some incredible function I didn't know it possessed, or I just fall across it myself by pressing the wrong buttion, which then turns out to be the right one, although I didn't know it.
An example of this would be my car CD player. I know this is a twelve disc multichanger, and I know there is room for 12 discs, but there are only six buttons numbered 1 to 6 to access them. How was I to know that 1 is also 7, 2 is also 8 etc? It's in the manual I didn't read. I found out by going over a speed bump that presing 1 twice gives you 7. For me this was pretty amazing stuff, and it also allowed me to listen to Garth Brooks for the first time since I put the CD in. When I did once look at the manual I learned that it is possible to listen to the radio whilst you are fast forwarding a tape. I can't remember how to do it mind, but it's possible apparently.
